The whole reason I started this blog was due to an email I received one night. I was having a conversation in a public group about sex when I received a message from a lady who was experiencing problems bringing herself to orgasm. She desperately wanted to and tried often but couldn’t….and if she did manage to come at all,, multiples were simply not going to happen, she had never experienced multiples through masturbation or love-making.
I gave her some advice and 45 minutes later I received an email saying “you were right!”
Now that’s not me trying to be cocky or conceited, to be honest with you it really bothered me.
After continuing the conversation I learned that she had never had an orgasm through intercourse or vaginal stimulation….only through clitoral stimulation. I blame her husband for this.
It is the man’s responsibility to take care of his woman, I’m going to say it again since this is my blog and I can….IT IS THE MANS RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF HIS WOMAN!!!!
DUDE!!! Get a clue.
Twenty nine percent of women have never experienced an orgasm.
Eighty percent of women have never experienced a vaginal orgasm.
One hundred percent of women can have all three types of orgasms (unless there is a medical condition that hinders it)
There are three types of orgasms and we’re going to cover them in a moment but I want to cover something else first.
I’m warning you now, this blog will probably be a “soup” blog, (lots of ingredients) and it will probably be long….I may split it up into parts.
Part of the advice I gave the above mentioned reader was to relax, she was so focused on having an orgasm she was getting in her own way.
Her homework was simple.
Get alone, lay back, close your eyes and think about whatever it is that turns you on, rub your body, yes all of it, your breast, your stomach etc. ……you get the picture.
I told her to massage her pussy until she started to ache then and only then to start massaging her clit.
I told her to not even try to have an orgasm; I didn’t want that thought going through her head at all. Once she was ready to get her vibrator and place it on her clit keeping her eyes closed and to only focus on the feeling, not the result of her actions.
To make a long story short she came, and then she came again a little while later and soon after that she was experiencing multiple orgasms in the same session. She just had to get out of her head and let it happen.
I told you that story for a reason. In order for a woman to orgasm, especially if she’s new to it she has to be relaxed.
Guys: it’s your job to make her relax. If you’ve been together for a while then there probably isn’t a problem but if you’re a new couple or maybe it’s your first time together slow down and make her relax.
Don’t jump right to the “sex” lay beside her and hold her, talk to her, kiss her while rubbing on her. Let your hands glide across her body down the inside of her legs, drag your fingers across the lips of her pussy, tease her a little.
While your hands are making her body respond your voice and kisses (soft kisses) should be making her mind respond. If you will take the time to make her relax you will be able to make her body do things she most likely doesn’t even know it’s capable of.
Ladies: if you find yourself in this position stop focusing on the outcome and focus instead on the feeling, get lost in it and your body will respond the way it was designed to.
Three types of orgasms
Clitoral orgasms are the most common and usually the way most women orgasm when they masturbate. Some pretty powerful clitoral orgasms can be dealt through oral sex as well….If done correctly (if you haven’t noticed by now by reading my blogs this is a huge pet peeve of mine. Men: take the time to learn how to correctly perform oral sex)
Clitoral orgasms are usually more centralized, meaning yes they feel great but most of the feeling is in the genital area.
The clit responds to light and fast stimulation. (some of you are going to disagree with me but trust me it’s the truth, yes you can get it to respond to other kinds of stimulation but if you want the most powerful clitoral orgasm possible then its light and fast.
For instance: once she is ready pull the hood back with your fingers exposing the head of the clit, suck her clit up between your lips and flick it with your tongue as fast as you can with side to side strokes, only allow the very tip of your tongue to make contact with her clit….BARELY make contact.
For the first several seconds you’re not going to get any kind of reaction at all…..Then she’ll moan, you’ll feel her stomach muscles tense up and you better be holding onto her legs, she’s going to start to move and you need to hold her in place in order to keep control and give just the right amount of pressure , DO NOT stop the stimulation or add any pressure.
What she is feeling can be compared to low voltage electricity running through her clit, it starts out slow but when it starts to build its going to come on her like an Amtrak ….once she comes…STOP!!
Most women when using a vibrator can’t handle the vibrator directly on their clit, they place it instead over the hood which houses the clit and the vibrations are then reduced by the time they actually reach the clit.
What the above technique is doing is providing a similar sensation to that of a vibrator through the hood, the only difference is us men can’t produce that strong of a vibration with our tongue….which allows us to expose the clit and stimulate it directly.
The clit can become very sensitive after an orgasm, much like the head of our penis. Some women can take one or even several more clitoral orgasms and you can flatten out your tongue for these, however, it is very important to experiment a little, see if she can take anymore stimulation before you start again. Once you do start again ask her how it feels, the last thing you want is for her to tense up and ruin your chance of giving her multiple vaginal orgasms.
Seeing as how I’m already over a thousand words I’m going to stop here and continue in another blog post.
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