Three types of female orgasms

The whole reason I started this blog was due to an email I received one night. I was having a conversation in a public group about sex when I received a message from a lady who was experiencing problems bringing herself to orgasm. She desperately wanted to and tried often but couldn’t….and if she did manage to come at all,, multiples were simply not going to happen, she had never experienced multiples through masturbation or love-making.

I gave her some advice and 45 minutes later I received an email saying “you were right!”

Now that’s not me trying to be cocky or conceited, to be honest with you it really bothered me.

After continuing the conversation I learned that she had never had an orgasm through intercourse or vaginal stimulation….only through clitoral stimulation. I blame her husband for this.

It is the man’s responsibility to take care of his woman, I’m going to say it again since this is my blog and I can….IT IS THE MANS RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF HIS WOMAN!!!!

DUDE!!! Get a clue.

Staggering Stats.

Twenty nine percent of women have never experienced an orgasm.

Eighty percent of women have never experienced a vaginal orgasm.

One hundred percent of women can have all three types of orgasms (unless there is a medical condition that hinders it)

There are three types of orgasms and we’re going to cover them in a moment but I want to cover something else first.

I’m warning you now, this blog will probably be a “soup” blog, (lots of ingredients) and it will probably be long….I may split it up into parts.

Part of the advice I gave the above mentioned reader was to relax, she was so focused on having an orgasm she was getting in her own way.

Her homework was simple.

Get alone, lay back, close your eyes and think about whatever it is that turns you on, rub your body, yes all of it, your breast, your stomach etc. ……you get the picture.

I told her to massage her pussy until she started to ache then and only then to start massaging her clit.

I told her to not even try to have an orgasm; I didn’t want that thought going through her head at all. Once she was ready to get her vibrator and place it on her clit keeping her eyes closed and to only focus on the feeling, not the result of her actions.

To make a long story short she came, and then she came again a little while later and soon after that she was experiencing multiple orgasms in the same session. She just had to get out of her head and let it happen.

I told you that story for a reason.  In order for a woman to orgasm, especially if she’s new to it she has to be relaxed.

Guys:  it’s your job to make her relax. If you’ve been together for a while then there probably isn’t a problem but if you’re a new couple or maybe it’s your first time together slow down and make her relax.

Don’t jump right to the “sex” lay beside her and hold her, talk to her, kiss her while rubbing on her. Let your hands glide across her body down the inside of her legs, drag your fingers across the lips of her pussy, tease her a little.

While your hands are making her body respond your voice and kisses (soft kisses) should be making her mind respond. If you will take the time to make her relax you will be able to make her body do things she most likely doesn’t even know it’s capable of.

Ladies: if you find yourself in this position stop focusing on the outcome and focus instead on the feeling, get lost in it and your body will respond the way it was designed to.

Three types of orgasms

Clitoral orgasms are the most common and usually the way most women orgasm when they masturbate. Some pretty powerful clitoral orgasms can be dealt through oral sex as well….If done correctly (if you haven’t noticed by now by reading my blogs this is a huge pet peeve of mine. Men: take the time to learn how to correctly perform oral sex)

Clitoral orgasms are usually more centralized, meaning yes they feel great but most of the feeling is in the genital area.

The clit responds to light and fast stimulation. (some of you are going to disagree with me but trust me it’s the truth, yes you can get it to respond to other kinds of stimulation but if you want the most powerful clitoral orgasm possible then its light and fast.

For instance: once she is ready pull the hood back with your fingers exposing the head of the clit, suck her clit up between your lips and flick it with your tongue as fast as you can with side to side strokes, only allow the very tip of your tongue to make contact with her clit….BARELY make contact.

For the first several seconds you’re not going to get any kind of reaction at all…..Then she’ll moan, you’ll feel her stomach muscles tense up and you better be holding onto her legs, she’s going to start to move and you need to hold her in place in order to keep control and give just the right amount of pressure , DO NOT stop the stimulation or add any pressure.

What she is feeling can be compared to low voltage electricity running through her clit, it starts out slow but when it starts to build its going to come on her like an Amtrak ….once she comes…STOP!!

Most women when using a vibrator can’t handle the vibrator directly on their clit, they place it instead over the hood which houses the clit and the vibrations are then reduced by the time they actually reach the clit.

What the above technique is doing is providing a similar sensation to that of a vibrator through the hood, the only difference is us men can’t produce that strong of a vibration with our tongue….which allows us to expose the clit and stimulate it directly.

The clit can become very sensitive after an orgasm, much like the head of our penis. Some women can take one or even several more clitoral orgasms and you can flatten out your tongue for these, however, it is very important to experiment a little, see if she can take anymore stimulation before you start again. Once you do start again ask her how it feels, the last thing you want is for her to tense up and ruin your chance of giving her multiple vaginal orgasms.

Seeing as how I’m already over a thousand words I’m going to stop here and continue in another blog post.

As always your comments are welcomed and appreciated. If you’re not currently following this blog feel free to do so by email on the upper right hand corner of the page

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First let me say that I really appreciate every single one of you that follow and comment. Thank you!

I know this originally started as a sexual advice blog and now it has some stories.

it’s no secret that I started writing a novel here recently and I’ve started sharing some of the scenes and or possible scenes from my book, I’m not sure how you feel about me mixing the two so your feedback is appreciated.

Should I start a second blog for the scenes and keep them separate from the advice blog or leave it the way it is?

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sex toys for women = insecurity for men

This one is for the men and I got a feeling you aren’t going to like it very much…but hear me out and listen,  holy shit just listen and you’ll thank me later.

Judging by the emails I’ve gotten apparently some/ a lot of you men out there don’t approve of your women having sex toys. I didn’t know this so I started asking around, the answers I’ve gotten well….. Yeah I don’t get it.

So there are really two issues here, number one women getting themselves off with toys when he’s not around and number two including the toys in love-making.

I think they are really one and the same problem….insecurity and intimidation and both are unwarranted.

Some of the “complaints” from the men have been getting……

  1. A toy bigger than my penis will satisfy her and the result will be her wanting a bigger cock.

So the issue here is size, my answer will probably be disagreed with but you’re here reading my blog for a reason so…. 🙂


That’s right, even for you ladies that say bigger is better, you’re wrong too.

Oh but I feel fuller…..he reaches places nobody ever has……he stretches me and OMG it feels so good.

How about this? There are two ways for a woman to orgasm, one through clitoral stimulation and the other through G-spot…..oh yea? What about women that can come with nipple stimulation huh? What about women that can come during anal or just by squeezing their muscles when aroused? Huh? Huh, huh Mr sexpert? I can see it now, this will be my longest blog post ever with questions like that 🙂  ok…short answer, nerves….nerves running from the nipple to the clit……..vibrations, during anal vibrations run through the walls and stimulate the G-spot and the clit….yes the answer should be more detailed but just trust me and let’s get back on track.

Back to size, the G-spot is located on the upper wall of the vagina about 2”-3” in towards the stomach…it’s an area not a spot or button.

So…..are you three inches in length? If you so you can reach it, you can work it, stimulate it and make her come so hard she calls you Big Daddy….. So why are you intimidated by size again? It’s not how deep you fish; it’s how you wiggle the worm that produces results.

G-spot up top so cock angled up right? Riiiight!!

As far as you ladies that say bigger is better….have you ever had a man who knew what he was doing? No…I mean really knew, knew how your body would respond better than you do, knew how to play you like a fine tuned instrument? If you haven’t then you’re going to assume that bigger is better and being “full” is where it’s at….coming so hard you can’t walk or talk is where it’s at ladies.

Men…learn how to do this! Become a Master in the bedroom!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve personally been asked “how big are you?” really? Would you be offended (ladies) if a guy asked how tight you were?

Ut oh!! I just stepped in it didn’t I? Well since I’m here let’s kick it around a little shall we?

Society has decided that if you aren’t hung like a horse and as thick as a tree trunk then us men are inadequate, Men are so focused on the size of their dick (women are too) that the art of making love isn’t important anymore.  What you should be asking is do you know how to please me? Can you find my G-spot? Do you know what to do with it once you do find it? What about my clit? Do you know what to do with it? Hard or soft, fast or slow?

Ladies you know I love ya, most of my blog posts are focused on making it better for you but you’re asking the wrong questions and causing the men to focus on the wrong answers. Penis enlargement pill sales are at an all time high and they don’t even work and I bet if I wrote a book on how to really please a woman I couldn’t give it away.

Continue to ask the wrong questions and focus on the wrong things and the results will always be mediocre, some of you don’t even know what you’re missing out on.

Complaint number two

  1. If I use toys during love-making and she really likes it she won’t “just” want me anymore.

Well. That may be true but….that comes back to you knowing how to really please her. If you don’t, then learn, if you do, then you already know its bull shit, let me explain.

The toys can be a great way to give you (the man) a break, let’s face it, it can be hard work pleasing a woman, no I’m not saying women are hard to please but there are several things we the men have to be keen to.

We have to watch, listen and feel…and interpret correctly what we see, hear and feel.

We have to make sure she’s ready, has she come yet? (always make her come before intercourse) have we switched back and forth between clit and G-spot enough to have them both swollen, full of blood and ready for stimulation.

Is the angle right? She’s moving, bucking her hips or even barely raising them and when she does the angle changes so we have to change with her, every stroke must go upwards to keep the pressure on the G-spot.

Is the speed right? Is she close? Do we speed up? Slow down? Where is she? Are her nipples hard? (Different blog post) is her body tense, how hard is she breathing.

Yes ladies bet you didn’t know us men have a mental checklist we have to go down in order to make the pearly gates open and the angels start singing.

So toys…. Yes toys can give you the night off and still let you be the man, get it wet, slip it in, grab a vibrator and make her come.

Most importantly and the main reason us men shouldn’t be concerned with the toys….toys cant mow the yard lol, just kidding. That vibrator can’t look her in the eyes and make her know that it feels what she feels, it can’t hold her, it can’t talk to her and tell her how good she feels or how tight she is or how freak’n much it loves making love to her, how happy it is or how bad it’s been wanting her all day. there’s no emotional connection with the vibrator.

Women need that just as bad as we need to be wanted, just as bad as we need to feel like nobody can please her like we can, she needs that too and the biggest 132 speed vibrating 360 degree rotating head with afterburners and heat sensors can’t give that to her, it can’t cuddle afterwards, it can’t lay down beside her out of breath and her know that as good as it was for her she just rocked your world too.

Stop being intimidated, stop being insecure and go get some toys, surprise her with them, hide them under the bed, tie her up and break those bad boys out and make the bed tremble with excitement, make the walls need a cigarette after you’re done and guess what she’ll tell her friends? My man knows how to take care of me girl! Not about how good that vibrator is, not how big it is, not how much she loves it….but how much she loves you for caring enough about how she feels to not only learn how to please her without the toys but for buying the toys and using them to please her too.

I’ll wrap it up with this comparison.

Do You like to jack off? Does it feel good laying there with your eyes closed, Johnson and Johnson spread evenly over your cock, your hand gripping it and Pamela Anderson is on her knees in front of you? It does doesn’t it?

Would you rather have that? or a warm hot body telling you how much she loves you? How bad she’s wanted you all day? How wet she is and how bad she’s aching for your hard cock to be inside her?

It’s the same for her if you know what you’re doing; sex is as much about emotional connection as it is physical contact…toys can’t give that bro….only you can!

Here is a good place to start if you want more information and tips that will help you become a master in the bedroom

As always your comments are welcomed as well as suggestions for blog post, please email suggestions to

Dont forget to follow by email for updates and new post

Posted in For the ladies, For the men | 14 Comments

Is porn ruining sex?

I fucked her like a porn star!!

Well guys I got some bad news for you, if you did she probably didn’t like it.

Now let me say that I personally have nothing against porn, it can be a great way to spice up your sex life….even if you don’t have one 😉 lol

Ok, back to being serious, both men and women are aroused visually so obviously porn can be a way to get the juices flowing.

Accept it for what it is though, a toy and a tool, its acting people…..Not a how to guide!!

The problem is a lot of men think this is how you make love, I’m not picking on you fellows, I got your back here but let’s call a spade a spade ……I’ll get to you in a minute ladies 😉

I won’t even talk about the kissing, if that’s how you kiss then there is no point in reading the rest of this blog.

After a few seconds of kissing he goes right for the tits, tongue all hanging out, licking her tit like it’s a lollipop…..really? Does this work?

It doesn’t, be a little softer, tease the nipple a little before taking it between your lips, learn how to properly lick the nipple… see blog post seven things she wants you to know.

He then skips over the rest of her body and goes right for the pussy, he then proceeds to lick her like he’s a dog lapping water from a bowl……ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  Hold on ladies…..I’m still going to get to you 😉

That couldn’t be any farther from how you really orally please a woman, (hmmm blog post idea? Maybe? Any thoughts?)

It’s time for the deed so he bends her over or folds her legs back and sticks his huge penis pumped up cock in her….usually with a little help from his hand due to not being hard…thanks to the pump.

Now the one thing they usually do right is vary the speed so I’ll give them that one but in case you didn’t know, pleasing a woman beyond her wildest fantasies takes a lot more than varying the speed at which you make love to her, it starts with the foreplay and ends with how well you move.

Don’t just change speeds but change the depth of your strokes along with the angle, for maximum G-spot stimulation make sure the head of your penis is in constant contact with the roof of her vagina.

Now for the ladies:

I don’t have as much to complain about when it comes to you but I do have one major complaint.

I have yet to find a woman get that excited about me doing everything wrong.

Mr. stud is doing everything wrong and yet she’s moaning like it’s the best sex she’s ever had….if you do that ladies then please stop.

All you’re doing is encouraging him to continue.

You say you want a man who is attentive to your needs right? Someone who pays attention to your body language, a man who will take you to levels of pleasure you’ve never had and di it time and time again.

Let’s say you have as man who is really trying to do things the right way, he really cares about how you feel and your pleasure, he truly wants to get you off over and over again and make sure that the intensity of your orgasm is over the top.

How’s he supposed to know what really feels good to you if you’re moaning and carrying on about something you don’t like….trust me ladies we want a vocal woman, give me a woman that’s “ honestly vocal”  when I am doing something right and I’ll take her places she’s never been but give me an actress that moans no matter what and I’ll spend a lot of time doing the wrong thing.

Communication is the key to great sex and we communicate our likes and dislikes by talking and by our body language.

So ladies, definitely let the moans escapes those pretty lips but only when he’s doing something right, if you’re not honest with your body language you’re rolling the dice when it comes to good sex….hoping to get lucky but leaving disappointed.

A “ mmmm baby right there” or a “hell yeah like that” never hurts either ladies

Men: first of all learn how the woman’s body works then learn how to make it work and pay close attention to her body language, that’s her way of talking to you, telling you what she wants and what she likes.

On a side note…men be honest with your body language too and ladies pay close attention to it.

If you and your lover watch porn together remember it’s a tool to be used not a how to guide.


As always your comments and shares are appreciated.

Don’t forget to follow by email for updates and new blog post.

If you have a certain subject you would like to see a blog post about you can email your questions/suggestions to

Posted in For the ladies, For the men | 9 Comments

Men: What are your top three sexual complaints about women?

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Ladies: what are your top three sexual complaints about men ?

Posted in For the ladies, General | 10 Comments

Seven things she wants you to know

1. She Likes to Watch

Yes women are visual creatures too, according to a study done by the University of Texas at Austin both sexes are turned on by sight more than any other senses so let her watch.

Toss the covers off , place a mirror beside the bed and give her a show.

You’ll both enjoy it.

2. There’s more to her tit than a nipple.

Nipples are, well, a sensitive subject.

Some women love nipple play and others could care less but lets say your woman likes it.

That’s all fine and dandy but that don’t give you the right to go straight for the nipple, tease her a little, especially if hers are sensitive, run your fingers softly around her breast, kiss around the breast as well.

Inch your way closer to her nipple as you go, swirl your tongue around the areola, breathe on her nipple, a soft lick as you pass by never hurts either.

Pleasure the whole breast, let her anticipate that moment when you will take her nipple in your mouth but don’t let her know when.

When you finally do decide to pleasure her nipple don’t go all lollipop style, blow and lick on them, slip the very tip of her nipple between your lips and tease them with firm motions……..circular, then up and down.

Vary your speed and intensity so they don’t lose sensation.

3. Wet dosen’t mean ready.

I know what you’re thinking but hear me out, just like when men get aroused blood flows to the penis when women get aroused blood flows to their vagina.

In fact the vagina will start to swell, The inner lips of her vagina can double or triple in thickness….When the brain receives a sexual cue, it tells the genitals to relax so blood will rush in, That genital fullness is extremely satisfying to most women and guess what….the ultimate goal is for her to be satisfied.

It takes a little longer for her to really become engorged with blood…even after she is wet so take your time, slow down and she’ll thank you later

It’s several little things that can make or break you in the bed

4. The flip side.

Don’t forget about her back, most guys never think about this but a lot of pleasure can be given by flipping her over.

Roll her over on her stomach and start at her neck, push her hair up and plant soft kisses on the back and sides of her neck….dont forget the ears though, lots of nerve endings there that can’t be ignored.

Plenty of sensitive nerve endings down the edge of her spine as well, take your time and really work your way down her body… attention to her body language, she’ll tell you what feels good without ever saying a word.

Don’t waste your time directly on her spine, she’s not going to feel it but focus your attention instead to the sides of her spine.

Dont forget to use your hands, rub her, drag your fingers lightly across her skin while softly kissing somewhere else.

5. Kiss my ass.

Most women will really enjoy this.

Start by kissing your way down her spine while gently caressing her butt
with your fingertips.When your lips reach her cheeks, kiss and nibble softly, and firmly knead her buns.
Her butt can be very sensitive therefore has potential to bring her a lot of pleasure.

Some even enjoy having their anus licked, if yours does then by all means have at it, if you’re looking for spots that are loaded with sensitive nerve endings you wont find one that has more than her anus…..nerve endings = pleasure in most cases.

6. Her clit has legs.

Something she may not even know.

The little nubbin you think of as her clitoris is only the tip—behind her lips lies an untapped expanse of erectile tissue. Her clitoris has legs, or crura, that split off and go down either side of her vagina behind the labia.

Stimulate the crura by forming a peace sign with your fingers: Place the tip of the V around her clit so your fingers face downward on either side of her vaginal opening.

Apply undulating (Move with a smooth wavelike motion) pressure and enjoy her look of surprise
Like the rest of the clit, the crura fills with blood during the excitement phase therefore its important to give her some time to become engorged before starting this type of stimulation.

7. G-Spot.

The legendary G-spot is on the upper wall of the vagina and usually between one to three inches inside.

It will have a spongy feel to it when swollen.

Some women say that it’s tough for them to reach by themselves. Which is where you come in. But the classic “come hither”motion isn’t always best.

Some women prefer circular two-finger stimulation or firm tapping.

The clitoris tends to respond to a very fast, very light touch, but the G-spot responds to slower, deeper, firmer touch.

Experiment with her and find it if you don’t know where it is, once you do learn what type of stimulation she responds to… you’ll forever be the man in her eyes.

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Posted in For the men | 9 Comments