I Miss You


I Miss you.

What does it mean?

I miss you; just like I love you, has lost most of its meaning due to over use. It has become a response to someone saying it first or maybe just the “right thing to say” as a conversation filler. It has become a habit, like “bless you” is to a sneeze.

We’re all busy with our day to day life and while having a conversation our minds are rarely focused on what we’re talking about or even who we are talking to, much less the meaning of the things we are saying.

Life is a revolving door with people coming and going constantly. Some come in fast and furious and leave the same way while others seem to appear out of nowhere yet leave silently and slowly. The latter being the most painful. They think they are fading from view ever so quietly, leaving unnoticed. Yet we see them slipping off into the night and fading from existence as part of our life.

Looking back I’ve had an untold number of people walk through the revolving doors of life and very few of them do I miss. Yet most of them had something about them that I was attracted to or enjoyed. I miss certain things about that person, I miss certain personality traits or experiences we may have shared but I can’t honestly say that I miss that person.

I had a friend once that was an incredible musician and I thoroughly enjoyed playing music with him. We spent countless hours writing and playing music together. I miss the feeling I had when playing with such an amazing and talented musician I do not, however, miss him. I only miss the experience.

We share memories and experiences with each and every person that walks into our life yet only miss a few when they’re are gone……Why is that?

Though many walk in and most walk on through our lives like tourists on vacation some leave  footprints on our very soul. They touch us in a way that forever changes our life and when they’re gone something is missing, therefore we miss.

I believe “I miss you” gets used out of context most of the time. For example: if you see an old friend you haven’t even thought of in years. You start reminiscing and catching up when all of a sudden you say something like “girl I’ve missed you, we need to get together” have you really missed that person? After all, you haven’t even thought of them in years. Was something that belonged really missing? Or did you experience an emotion based on a feeling and a memory that caused you to say “I’ve missed you”?

To say I miss you implies a deep sense of caring. It’s intimate, just as intimate as I Love you.

Missing is about the needs, wants and emotions inside of me that are somehow left unattended in the absence of the person I no longer have or have limited access to. The saying that “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is ridiculous. That statement screams “delusional”. Absence is about being gone or away from the one you really want to be with and that is something I am not even remotely “fond” of. I didn’t or don’t want them to go and when they do it hurts. It causes me to miss and to miss stems from pain. So in order to miss I must feel pain, if I feel pain there must be an absence. So tell me again how absence that makes my heart grow fonder?

still-miss-you

I miss you means I care and I hope for the eventual return of or journey to the one I enjoyed laughing with, sharing with and truly being free with. It means something is missing from me and I long to have it back. It means I am incomplete to some degree in your absence. It means you have touched my life in a way that will not allow me to go back to being complete without you. It means there is an emptiness that you once filled, a void where you once were. A yearning for things to be as they were.

 

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7 Responses to I Miss You

  1. Carmen says:

    I have that feeling everyday of my life for the past 13 yrs when my grandma passed away. She not only gave me so many wonderful things but she took a piece of me with her as well. In July 2012 I lost my aunt, her ex murdered her. And in November 2012 I lost my uncle too. I can honestly say I miss them because I do think of them and a little of me is with them. Now I will struggle w/ another family death this year, my 35 y/o cousin. But I have at least some time to be w/ her & I will miss her.
    I don’t say I miss you or love you lightly & if I do it is very sincere more than that person will ever know.

    You did a wonderful job!! You are amazing 🙂

  2. dawn8869 says:

    Simply amazing! You always manage to bring something different with your writing. I am always learning something from reading your work. I think that is what I love the most about this blog.
    I truly enjoy reading your posts. I find that with most of the other blogs I follow that I will skim through the posts but with yours I am glued to the screen.
    For me this blog is kinda like a book and each new blog post is like a new chapter.

    So about this post “I Miss You” To be honest I always believed I knew what that meant. I am a person who feels everything very deeply. But after reading this I feel like I better understand it.
    I don’t tell someone I miss them unless I truly feel that. The only times I use I miss you is when I feel something inside that aches.
    I consider myself a very emotional person there for I get hurt very easily and my feelings get taken advantage of.
    I love you and I miss you haven’t been used a lot in my life.

    Thank you so much for this touching and very special blog post.

  3. I recently text that very thing to someone and didn’t get a reply. I know exactly what it’s like to miss someone who doesn’t miss you back. Everything you said is true. Of all your blogs, this one affected me the most. It was an eye opener that I needed. Thank you for that.

  4. Lois Merrill says:

    I am profoundly amazed at your accurate depiction of what it means to miss someone.

    We are all so busy is this rat race we call life, most of us do just go through the motions. We often do and say things out of habbit or because it is an expected response.

    To actually take a moment and put things in perspective as you have in this blog will give realization and understanding to a lot of people. Your deep insight penetrating to the depths of such emotions is very thought provoking. I am sure whoever reads this blog will be thoroughly touched and be able to apply it to their own lives.

    Thank you for yet another fantastic blog.

  5. Gloria says:

    Your words have touched my heart ! When I think of my father, I miss him. Even though he is gone 4 years now, it still is there. To miss someone is to feel that ache in your heart. Your words have given me something to think about when I say the words, I miss you. Thank you

  6. Rosie says:

    This has given me pause. i feel deeply, and truly and I agree that there are some words or turns of phrase that are over-used and have lost their meaning.

    I have lost, been lost and tossed away. I never say anything I don’t mean. I know what its like to not have that chance to make up or apologize for things said or unsaid.

    i miss my dad, 20 years later and i still have an emptiness inside my soul.

  7. your1stkiss says:

    This is so true and packed with so much emotion. I can feel the pain in your words.

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